dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
