i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
