im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
