There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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