is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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