so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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