So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
