Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize