I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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