I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
