So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she pinky promised me she was 18
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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