Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
