There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
