do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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