That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
