yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
