Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry riotgrrrl hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.

Fav 21 5088 891
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.

Fav 13 4654 1554
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.

Fav 4 2592 995
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!

Fav 17 1038 3827
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.

(1-360): View more from Washington

Bringing families together since 1987

Fav 2 828 539
share tweet
(253): View more from Washington

I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.

Fav 6 1146 594
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(989): View more from Michigan

But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.

Fav 1 601 459
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican

Fav 2 310 331
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox

Fav 0 74 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT