never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
