I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
