I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
