Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
