I hate your face
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
