im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
