So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
