Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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