very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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