When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize