He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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