I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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