the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
3 2 1 whiskey
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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