shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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