Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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