tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
