k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
