Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
