I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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