it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
