You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
