is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize