my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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