Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
