grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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