she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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