The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize