Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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