It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
