What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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