you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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