Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize