He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
