i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
