absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
