ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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