We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
