I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
