She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
