The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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