1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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