I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize