She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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