he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize