Tell her she can't have a vagina
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
