the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
