Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize