So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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