I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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