I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
