Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
