U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you will always have a special place in my vag
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm bleeding and have questions
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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