I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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