That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
