I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
