I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
