Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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